How many times do I get really over exaggerating? Often some of my friends would say. Rarely I tend to think as rarely do I tend to have a strong reaction or opinion. Therefore, when I do get animated it must throw people off. I was never the class clown. Heck, I was the nerdy tomboy who when not playing outside with the boys at recess was at home reading books. Maybe I was forced into book reading at too young of an age? A family expectation enforced upon me you might say. Whatever the cause the trend continued through high school and college. The book reading gradually dwindled as social events were always higher on the list. Do I read a book or go watch a movie with friends? Do I stay in or go hang out at Wal-mart? Is it more fun by myself or with a group of people who will dare me to take the saltine challenge (look it up)?
Clearly the latter on each account. This approach, neigh outlook on life, led me to develops some pretty good interpersonal skills I would say. Along with over active salivary glands, but we all lived;). Leadership. Isn't that just another way of saying you are that nerdy yet surprisingly good with people person who can get stuff done, yet keep people happy? I think that's part of it. Does one need to be given these opportunities to grow? Does one need others to see that potential or is a true leader out there to claim the title for themselves? In my personal life I can see where forced leadership on projects or in church youth group settings helped me learn I was capable. On the other hand applying for leadership positions as a college RA, or assuming the role of class entertainer in Grad school are self inflicted positions where you are not always liked, nor truly respected. Entertaining and performance is an art people! What made me do that? Mental boredom in part, a huge sense of team and family that I get within groups of peers. Why do I not have that freedom and creativity in the work place? Can true leadership, which I feel I possess, flourish under management that is a passionate and out for their own benefit. If I feel undervalued for my ideas and contributions will I want to co tribute to the 'team' or lack there-of? Is it possible in a world full of sinners and a room full of selfish people (myself included) to find that joy and passion at out and grow? Will I truly become the leader God has been teaching me to be if I stay, feeling stagnant? I want to say story of my life, but in reality it is a momentary blip in my life, in The Master's plans. I pray for wisdom, for direction, for freedom to express the joyous creative outgoing side that God gave me. May I feel free to be silent, free to be witty, free to crack jokes, and free to open up. Even when it's dangerous, even when it's scary. Set me free Lord Jesus. May that be the story of my life.
