SIT

The first and most common command we teach our furry canine friends.  The direction given to most school age children full of energy waiting to be expelled on the playground.  The calm word spoken over me by my Heavenly Father as he patiently waits for my one thousand mile an hour self to wind down from a day, a week, a month, or what have you of fast paced life.  It took exactly three days this time along with a stubborn throat cold turned fever monster with body aches and nasty mucous to get me to finally, sit.  Here I am; sitting, contemplating, reading one of my new favorite authors Henri J.M. Nouwen, trying to understand the great mystery of how I am the beloved...how you are the beloved, and how I can better portray belovedness.  If that is even a word I am unsure, but one thing I know is that the concept is true, intact, wholesome, life.  His main point is that to embody the beloved one takes on four key components: taken, blessed, broken, given.  Taken = chosen.  Blessed = receive blessings.  Broken = how we all really are.  Given = embody the first three and you can truly give of self.  This is my second time through the book with equally as challenging thoughts arising.  I now read with a different, older, wiser...well maybe just more seasoned and humbled perspective.  I read with a new set of brokenness, a deeper understanding of being taken, and a great desire to be a blessed gift to another.  Isn't it funny that all I had to do was sit.  After days of laying, movie watching, and march madness all I had to do was turn off the live stream and be still.  Thank goodness march madness takes a break every couple of days and the netflix aren't all that great of movies anyway.  Let's hope I take this chance more often.  Maybe I need the continual reminder as does my four pawed shadow, don't jump, sit, good girl.

It is finished

I feel like this might be a close repeat of earlier feelings s/p grad school with board exam which happened just under three years ago. Alas, once again I sit with feel propped up, ice cream in my belly, and a smile on my face knowing I will not be taking a huge exam ever again! Yes, that statement came back to bite me in the butt once...may it not happen again.
We all have our coping strategies don't we? Some eat when stressed, others when sad, and then there are those who go shopping, running, driving, or go crazy in some other way. I, well, I tend to snap when stressed, don't eat a ton, but don't eat healthy either. I would love to run it out, but if my knee hurts then the weights are a good option to sweat it out. And what if it's rainy outside, well any distraction will do, but no way I want to verbally process that, no way...way too much work. Then, once stress has passed, the day is done, the test is turned in, the submit button hit...then, I reward myself with a bowl of ice cream, a glass of wine, a fast food meal, a nice dinner out, a visit with a friend, a text, a call.  Yes, I'd love to chat now.  Now you are safe for at least a few weeks as I walk around in stress free bliss. Intern lecture/lab tomorrow, no problem.  Resident mentoring switching up tomorrow as well, we got this. Want me to pick up some other erroneous responsibility, sure thing. I took a 7 hour allotted time test in 5 hours. God helped me through it, for sure, and it will be an act of God if I pass, yes, but we still done!
So here I sit, or outside in the hammock, or on the couch with Grey's Anatomy, or on a bike cause it's sunny and nice...and I'm looking forward to the rest of my week :)
Until next time