Riding Solo

Riding Solo: popular phrase thanks to a rap song sung by...? but it's playing through my head right now....
Why is this playing through my head you might ask? Great question! Let me explain. Please bear with me cause the roller coaster of thoughts and feelings I must wade through to complete the illustration at hand are many.
Where to begin?
Solo
Single
Alone
One
Me

Riding
Bike
Beautiful day
people outside
Parks
Dogs
Couples
Singles
Games
Me on Bike
Alone
Just me on my bike
Just me and my thoughts on my bike
Just me and my tired legs and my thoughts on my bike...riding alone
Solo

Get the connection?
Alright, well I do not want to bore you with the details, I think the word association pretty much explains it...and if not then you have never been a single 26 year old female living in a city surrounded by people, yet feeling alone. Sorry to those of you who married young and/or always had a significant other, you can't get it. You can't meet me here in this place. Sorry, it's blunt, but it's the truth. And I hate to say it, but maybe no one can totally associate with me because I'm unique, individualized with my life experiences and my current situation and place in this world as we all are and therefore feeling even more alone. Is it a bad thing? No. It's just how I feel.
Being the ever optimist and a princess beloved by my King I can also tell you there are way perks to being where I'm at. Perk #1: I can help my sisters who are struggling in this area (though I cannot fully identify with them because we are different I can commiserate and listen and be, just be, cry, I also am getting better at crying and just being and crying over the phone...thanks B for being that for me) Perk #2: I now know how to and how often to change the air filter for the air conditioner...who knew every 3 months! crazy! as well as I can be an encouragement for other single ladies looking into buying a house and commiserate again on the "it's not the way I pictured I'd do this, but what do you do" feeling. Perk #3: If I want to go ride my bike, I go. I swim, I play futbol, I meet someone spontaneously or not so spontaneously for dinner or coffee or ice cream.
The trick is to keep the positives in perspective when the devil tries to fill my head with aloneness lies b/c at the end of the day and at the end of my thoughts I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jesus is enough. Jesus Christ can fill me up more than any person ever could. He listens and is and leads and strengthens and brightens my day and blesses me in the hard times so that I can get stronger still and work on my weaknesses and remember who I am and where I've been called and how he is using me even now, broken and messed up as I am, as we all are, solo or not.
O Lord, use me, heal me, help me see past my logs and short sightedness, make me new and clean and strong...help me be vulnerable when I need to be and protected when I need to be.
God, almighty Father, Orchestrator of my days, i bow in reverence, I lay prostrate as I have nothing left...I don't want to do it on my own...I can't. Lift me up when its time to scrape me off the floor. Put your light in my eyes and your thoughts in my head. Lead my steps as well as my thoughts.
Jesus be with me. I know that I am not alone. I am not riding solo because this beloved princess is protected by the King with all His angels surrounding. What an awesome sight to see I'm sure:)
In Jesus Name
En el Nombre de Jesus
amen