christmas morning
0545 - santa fills and lays out the stockings
0800 - wake up, rejoice that I actually half slept the past 2 hrs
0930 - cinnamon rolls come out of the oven all gooey and are devoured as the whole family arrives
1100 - time to pump up for the 1.5 hr run scheduled for Sat. am...christmas or not the training must go on
1130ish - Trilly and I shiver our way onto the raised trail that circles the park. the wind is blowing head on, after about 1 minute my exposed arms and legs are red and cold. After 5 minutes I consider turning back right then because this training thing is just for fun after all. 10 minutes brings numbness to the arms and legs, only the hands are needing constant fisting to protect the exposed tips on the three fingers with holes worn in the gloves. 15 minutes and I'm telling myself I am almost half way there...to the point i will turn around anyway. I've decided by this point 40 min out and back is okay. pretty soon my mind starts flashing back to past runs in the biting cold where your snot rockets feel like ice as they are swept away by the raging wind. I wonder why I do this, dressed in shorts and t-shirt, running when even my dog looks back at me with imploring eyes. Maybe I just imagined the dog looking at me and smirking b/c she is obviously warm under that fir coat. I consider for one second growing out my leg hair for warmth, then recant as I recall the hairy legs I touched at work the other day and think it really wouldn't be that much better.
i remember running on ice and tip-toing in spots to keep on my feet, that was for a team, to train and be a part of something bigger than myself...why am I doing this again?
I see girls from over the years, women I spend hours trotting alongside in inclimate weather who I'm bonded with for life even though I don't see any of them on a daily basis anymore. I wonder how she is, what's new in her life, how many have kids, how many are still running....did she ever do her ironman?
We move down to the side paved part, hoping to escape the head wind...didn't work.
35 min, okay let's turn around, after all last week I didn't run that far, don't want to over do it.
Ahhhh...so much better, my front side is feeling warm without the arctic blast blowing on me. I think i'm super fast now too! I love running, look, Trilly is cruising along side me, wearing down, she was jumping the ditch earlier back and forth, back and forth for no other reason than she loves to test the speed, jump the great divide, take life one leap at a time. Chase the birds down the hill only to run back up. You know how they say dogs and their owners resemble one another? I think it is totally true, or at least i want to be as cool as my dog. I mean she got greeted by everyone in the house upon returning today and we people accompanying her got a second thought shout out.
She has it all, cute factor, cuddly, cheery, athletic, obedient (mostly), fun and energetic...yep, yep we are similar ;)
0100 - back to the hizzy - suprise! homemade buckeye ice cream! what a great Christmas gift.
0200 - dinner time death balls! Midwest has landed down south
0300 - finally we get to open presents, good thing no one wanted a nap first this year
0500 - games followed by nap! yes!
0700 - more games, snacks, laughing
0900 - friends stop by for more holiday fellowship, gifts, laughing, sharing
1100 - slumber party begins, falling asleep to movie or chatting, not sure, not that it matters I am utterly content after a wonderful Christmas!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Reflections on 2010
It's not New Years yet, so I cannot fully reflect on the year, but to date I can peruse the events that have transpired thus far. As I flipped through pictures from the year I found them extending from Tanzania to Houston, Zion, Jacksonville Beach, to Houston again. The people in them, cherished. The scenery displayed, breathtaking. The memories represented in smiles and settings, heart tugging.
I
miss
that...
those places...
those people...
home...
all the different homes I have.
It's not the places as much as the people, well, I mean Zion scenery was alright, so were the Pommerini sunrises and sunsets.
I
miss
that...
those places...
those people...
home...
all the different homes I have.
It's not the places as much as the people, well, I mean Zion scenery was alright, so were the Pommerini sunrises and sunsets.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
डॉ. Seuss
Why it changes my tying to another language sometimes in the title I cannot figure out...maybe I was messing around with the settings a while ago and I can't remember what I did, maybe not...well yeah that's what happened, but eh I'll live with it.
So, growing up...I guess that's the main thought for the day here. Basically I've come to the conclusion that people are 'grown-up' when they are established, ya know, house, car, dog, job, community, settled in an area...well by that definition I guess I'm close to being a grown up...got a car, job, dog, house in a few short weeks, community-getting there, settled in an area-just give it a little more time. But then when you consider the conversations I've had with future roommates and we are talking about a stash bash for her b-day party and how we could all sleep in one room then have a play room and a study room(office)...well then it doesn't sound so 'grown-up' does it:)
That's when I think through this whole process and relating to those around me in these adult realms and I realize there are some people who are definitely grown-up...they come in one of a couple ways...
they could be Grown-up A: Try to act cool and hip, but really don't know how to relax and have fun and maybe they have kids, maybe not, but really not many people enjoy their company b/c they are complacent or complain about stuff or talk about others and therefore are more of a staunch type grown-up
or...
they could be Grown-up B: Display a wisdom and art of relating to people of different age groups and cultures in a way that is not demeaning, but even with openness to learn from someone who may have a different perspective on life. They understand all the grown-up things, maybe have kids, maybe not, have a house and the outside appearance of grown-up, but are quick to reveal that they try their best and may not have all the answers.
I'd like to think I'm working on the Grown-up B approach. Really no one can understand it all, no one can really give you a working definition of escrow and mortgages and insurance and titles, they might give you one good one but can't relate it to the others or they tell you what they heard and learned when they went through it, but never really digested it all and know why it works the way it works. (Refer to Friends episode where Chandler and Monica buy a house and try to explain to Joey what Escrow means)
So, yeah I don't understand it all...I know what I need to do this week so they can do what they need to do with the other pieces and we will work together and get it done, no-one really understanding the whole process (and if they tell you they do then ask them about Euthenasia:pronounced Youth in Asia and see what they have to say about that), and in the end we will appear grown-up to those who have not muddled through it themselves, but in the inside we will know the deception of it all.
I'm surprisingly okay with that, it's like a joke we're playing on others Knowing all the while that God knows what's going on and He kind of chuckles along with us and holds our hand and gets us through this new funny grown-up transition phase. It's like each step of life, each different chunk when we think it's either really bad or really good b/c it's change and we either are really excited or really nervous or really overuse really...it's like at those times when He can see it all from beginning to end in no particular order to Him that He enjoys holding our hands and experiencing the flood of emotions together. When we don't know what else to do besides ride it out and wait and see and He obviously can see it all, but we get to wait in anticipation and enjoy the ride.
It's tricky to balance this contentment with the here and now with the hope for a future and planning for how we could be used or maybe dreaming what we think could happen...but then you don't want to underdream God, you don't want to discredit how His plans could be so beyond anything you could imagine.
So what do you?
Not dream
No way
You dream
You share your heart
You go big or go home
You set yourself up in one direction and start running and preparing as best you can.
Maybe you stay on the course you picked
Maybe you get to take the alternative route and be surprised and realize you took that one hill when you didn't really need to, but you learned from it. You look back from the top of the next hill and see what went right, what went wrong, what things had you no way of seeing because you weren't supposed to.
So, maybe I'm gonna dream big and throw it out there that I want to practice for a couple years and get really good at what I'm doing.
Then in no particular order I want to:
have a few students to develop their skills
do qualitative research as i get my doctorate in something so I can teach PT
coach pole-vault at the collegiate level
treat the athletic population juvenile and up
take students overseas to experience another culture and serve them
have a therapy dog
complete a half-ironman
attend the olympics (as a PT would be awesome, but I'll settle for just attending)
hike up a mountain
be a regular at a restaurant and get my picture on the wall
have someone to experience the above with (gasp, did I dare dream that?)
yeah, I think after the post lunch talk today about dreams and futures that we can dream, we can hope. Any of the above might or might not happen and as long as God is number one and serving Him, furthering the kingdom, worshiping him through any and everything we do...as long as that stays number one, then you have to be okay with the outcomes...you will be okay with the story because it's you and God.
And I'm tired of all the deep talk today, loved it, cherished it, stimulated by it, but I'm about to be lost in a book or movie...because I can:)
So, growing up...I guess that's the main thought for the day here. Basically I've come to the conclusion that people are 'grown-up' when they are established, ya know, house, car, dog, job, community, settled in an area...well by that definition I guess I'm close to being a grown up...got a car, job, dog, house in a few short weeks, community-getting there, settled in an area-just give it a little more time. But then when you consider the conversations I've had with future roommates and we are talking about a stash bash for her b-day party and how we could all sleep in one room then have a play room and a study room(office)...well then it doesn't sound so 'grown-up' does it:)
That's when I think through this whole process and relating to those around me in these adult realms and I realize there are some people who are definitely grown-up...they come in one of a couple ways...
they could be Grown-up A: Try to act cool and hip, but really don't know how to relax and have fun and maybe they have kids, maybe not, but really not many people enjoy their company b/c they are complacent or complain about stuff or talk about others and therefore are more of a staunch type grown-up
or...
they could be Grown-up B: Display a wisdom and art of relating to people of different age groups and cultures in a way that is not demeaning, but even with openness to learn from someone who may have a different perspective on life. They understand all the grown-up things, maybe have kids, maybe not, have a house and the outside appearance of grown-up, but are quick to reveal that they try their best and may not have all the answers.
I'd like to think I'm working on the Grown-up B approach. Really no one can understand it all, no one can really give you a working definition of escrow and mortgages and insurance and titles, they might give you one good one but can't relate it to the others or they tell you what they heard and learned when they went through it, but never really digested it all and know why it works the way it works. (Refer to Friends episode where Chandler and Monica buy a house and try to explain to Joey what Escrow means)
So, yeah I don't understand it all...I know what I need to do this week so they can do what they need to do with the other pieces and we will work together and get it done, no-one really understanding the whole process (and if they tell you they do then ask them about Euthenasia:pronounced Youth in Asia and see what they have to say about that), and in the end we will appear grown-up to those who have not muddled through it themselves, but in the inside we will know the deception of it all.
I'm surprisingly okay with that, it's like a joke we're playing on others Knowing all the while that God knows what's going on and He kind of chuckles along with us and holds our hand and gets us through this new funny grown-up transition phase. It's like each step of life, each different chunk when we think it's either really bad or really good b/c it's change and we either are really excited or really nervous or really overuse really...it's like at those times when He can see it all from beginning to end in no particular order to Him that He enjoys holding our hands and experiencing the flood of emotions together. When we don't know what else to do besides ride it out and wait and see and He obviously can see it all, but we get to wait in anticipation and enjoy the ride.
It's tricky to balance this contentment with the here and now with the hope for a future and planning for how we could be used or maybe dreaming what we think could happen...but then you don't want to underdream God, you don't want to discredit how His plans could be so beyond anything you could imagine.
So what do you?
Not dream
No way
You dream
You share your heart
You go big or go home
You set yourself up in one direction and start running and preparing as best you can.
Maybe you stay on the course you picked
Maybe you get to take the alternative route and be surprised and realize you took that one hill when you didn't really need to, but you learned from it. You look back from the top of the next hill and see what went right, what went wrong, what things had you no way of seeing because you weren't supposed to.
So, maybe I'm gonna dream big and throw it out there that I want to practice for a couple years and get really good at what I'm doing.
Then in no particular order I want to:
have a few students to develop their skills
do qualitative research as i get my doctorate in something so I can teach PT
coach pole-vault at the collegiate level
treat the athletic population juvenile and up
take students overseas to experience another culture and serve them
have a therapy dog
complete a half-ironman
attend the olympics (as a PT would be awesome, but I'll settle for just attending)
hike up a mountain
be a regular at a restaurant and get my picture on the wall
have someone to experience the above with (gasp, did I dare dream that?)
yeah, I think after the post lunch talk today about dreams and futures that we can dream, we can hope. Any of the above might or might not happen and as long as God is number one and serving Him, furthering the kingdom, worshiping him through any and everything we do...as long as that stays number one, then you have to be okay with the outcomes...you will be okay with the story because it's you and God.
And I'm tired of all the deep talk today, loved it, cherished it, stimulated by it, but I'm about to be lost in a book or movie...because I can:)
Friday, July 30, 2010
anomonopia
It's a new kind of tired when you move across the country, get ready to start a career job, have a new 4-legged creature to care for, and make a major life purchase such as a house. It's not the man, my body feel good and tired. Nor is it the wow, my brain has no more capacity and therefore I can't even function tired. No, it's somewhere in between there for I try to exercise to feel that familiar weariness of body...I even read a book and a journal to jump start the brain into similar paths. How does one describe it? More like a lost wandering aloneness sad tired that so many things in your life could change at once. Either way I know I'll get through it. Hey, I made it this far...survived what was quoted to be the hardest three years of my life. Now it's all gravy, right.? The jumble of emotions that visits this time of transition is even welcome as at least I get an outlet there for the undue stress I've subjected myself to. The soft fur and gentle nose that just wants to be petted without ceasing provides solace for a bit and I know with time I will let her into a special place in my life formerly occupied by other furry beasts who grew with me during my childhood years and saw me off to college. This one, she gets to see me off to work, share in the early mornings and walks to think out in nature (as much nature as one can find in city limits). Yeah, it's nice to have some constant, stability. I'm sure I'll soon long for another change after the 4 month period ends which would mark the longest in one place in the past year and some change. For now though I'm just tired. I sleep so the next day will come. I run and grease my bike for something to do to pass the time. I watch Gray's anatomy marathons to escape reality, but then find the tears still come only disguised as if because of some trauma or personal problem suffered by one of the many characters on the black flat screen.
It's really not that bad, I have been blessed a ton to know friends, family in Christ who is there for lunch, church, a dead car, a quick text, an invite to go out. It's in those times I forget I'm 1,460 miles away from my biological family and 1,300 miles away from my PT family(give or take thousands of miles depending on which state you ended up in.
God, what's your plan? The question of the ages.
Why here, why now, why me?
Why not.
Why a house? Who shall I serve? Whom shall I meet?
You'll see.
The blessings, the numerous opportunities to use my gifts to give to others. The fact that I have you here to prepare you for the next step, which is all a part of my plan, which is beautiful and I'm so excited to use you and form you some more and the end...ahhh...the end. It's a good ending...you'll see. - He says from his all knowing vantage point hovering over the expanse of time and space.
Okay God, Okay, here I am. help me. i am not strong enough on my own, i'm not brave enough. i don't trust enough. i don't know enough. you do You Are. Thank You.
It's really not that bad, I have been blessed a ton to know friends, family in Christ who is there for lunch, church, a dead car, a quick text, an invite to go out. It's in those times I forget I'm 1,460 miles away from my biological family and 1,300 miles away from my PT family(give or take thousands of miles depending on which state you ended up in.
God, what's your plan? The question of the ages.
Why here, why now, why me?
Why not.
Why a house? Who shall I serve? Whom shall I meet?
You'll see.
The blessings, the numerous opportunities to use my gifts to give to others. The fact that I have you here to prepare you for the next step, which is all a part of my plan, which is beautiful and I'm so excited to use you and form you some more and the end...ahhh...the end. It's a good ending...you'll see. - He says from his all knowing vantage point hovering over the expanse of time and space.
Okay God, Okay, here I am. help me. i am not strong enough on my own, i'm not brave enough. i don't trust enough. i don't know enough. you do You Are. Thank You.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
वेद्डिंग टाइम
So its that time of year again...weddings. well at least this year I only have one party to attend and it's gonna be a hummm dinger. Let me say today is the day and there might have been some dance moves practiced for the nightly festivities.
As I get older and wiser...or just older...weddings carry a sometimes nostalgic air. It will be a long time before we all see each other again. You are starting a new phase of life that is exciting. We will dance and act goofy and enjoy ourselves and remember these fun days as long as possible. We will meet distant relatives and friends of friends and hopefully no one will be too weird during it all.
Oh yes, wedding fun, tears, cheers, lets raise our glasses to the bride and groom. We love them so.
As I get older and wiser...or just older...weddings carry a sometimes nostalgic air. It will be a long time before we all see each other again. You are starting a new phase of life that is exciting. We will dance and act goofy and enjoy ourselves and remember these fun days as long as possible. We will meet distant relatives and friends of friends and hopefully no one will be too weird during it all.
Oh yes, wedding fun, tears, cheers, lets raise our glasses to the bride and groom. We love them so.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Salsa Queen
I've gotten the priveledge to do a lot of new things while down here in the great state of Texas. The large city certainly has a lot to offer in the entertainment realm from professional sporting events to the largest rodeo in the nation to watching a play sitting on the lawn at the outdoor theatre. The last is what we did last night. Sat out on blankets and enjoyed high schoolers in a production of 'Cats'. They did a phenomenal job and has I not known they were high schoolers I would not have believed it in passing. Perception is a big thing. It is a lot about first impressions for sure and basically the way one carries themselves. Take for instance me as a young female soon to be professional. If I go into a patient's room and am not confident and direct in my ways there are a lot of people who would not take me seriously nor trust me with their care and I wouldn't blame them. It's all about how they percieve you. Take an 18 hour drive for example. It could be one of the most daunting tasks or one of the most enjoyable. I choose to percieve it as enjoyable to be able to spend time in the care with someone talking or not talking for hours. You can catch up on world news, the newest hits, and see gorgeous countryside that if you drove it everyday you probably wouldn't notice it.
Really perception comes down to choice. What will you choose? Is the trash can half full or half empty? Do you have a long grocery list or a thorough and exciting time ahead of you at Wal-mart? Is the run just starting or just getting good? Is the waitress slow or is she allowing you time to relax and enjoy your experience? These and many more are things to consider...which viewpoint do you choose?
In light of that I choose to see the drive as an adventure, the time of not knowing as anticipation of something great, the concept of living situation as an opportunity to be blessed by others hospitality in hopes of one day being able to pass the blessing onto others. I choose to take the sleeping on a futon 6/7 days a week for 15 weeks as a chance to recognize how blessedly comfortable and uniformly flat a matress can feel.
I choose to think of my beginner salsa skills as an opportunity for great improvement...and I think all those who saw me Fri night would agree;)
Really perception comes down to choice. What will you choose? Is the trash can half full or half empty? Do you have a long grocery list or a thorough and exciting time ahead of you at Wal-mart? Is the run just starting or just getting good? Is the waitress slow or is she allowing you time to relax and enjoy your experience? These and many more are things to consider...which viewpoint do you choose?
In light of that I choose to see the drive as an adventure, the time of not knowing as anticipation of something great, the concept of living situation as an opportunity to be blessed by others hospitality in hopes of one day being able to pass the blessing onto others. I choose to take the sleeping on a futon 6/7 days a week for 15 weeks as a chance to recognize how blessedly comfortable and uniformly flat a matress can feel.
I choose to think of my beginner salsa skills as an opportunity for great improvement...and I think all those who saw me Fri night would agree;)
Sunday, April 11, 2010
She's been thinking
Flash back 30 minutes ago as I stood in the doorway to my closet, the only space I've had the past four months that is 'mine' to keep as tidy or disarrayed as I like. Don't get me wrong I have been blessed with a wonderful roommate that was considerate enough to buy a futon so that I could have a semi normal place to sleep while here, I was given a key to my friend's house so that I could come and go as I pleased, and others have offered their tv and hospitality for basketball season as needed. Truly I have not gone wanting in any way...but there is just something about an area no matter how small where no one else need see unless you choose to leave the door open, which I do...but it's the principle of the matter.
Okay, enough about the closet.
...as I stood in the doorway to my closet with new orange tub on the floor being filled with long sleeve shirts, jackets, and other things that I will not need, but would like to keep for when I move into wherever I move into in a couple months I started thinking. Dangerous I know, especially after a long weekend of hours spent with only the company of a small furry creature that sure is cute, but not a great conversationalist. I was thinking again where I'd been, how the four months in this south state had flown by. How much I've changed in that time period. We are always changing, growing either for good or for bad, never for indifferent. If that happens we get spit out so better keep changing. I argue that there is no way you can't change; life circumstances, the passage of time dictates that it must happen in some way whether it is as simple as your hair and nails naturally grew during that time. How have I changed? What do I want? What path do I wish to explore?
Changes:
If I could dream and imagine the perfect scenario not thinking logically on a lot of levels this is what I would dream would happen the end of June, beginning of July....
I would take a job working at an outpatient PT clinic where a variety of patients are seen from kids to adults with all kinds of diagnoses. Along with that I would see athletes from adolescents to adults who need sport specific training and we have a pool available for aquatic therapy. My job is in a city of diversity and that would be reflected in the patient population thereby allowing my Spanish skills to continue being challenged. I would work 4, 10 hour days allowing a day during the week to enjoy the outdoors and time with friends. My dog Tres loves to go running with me most days and enjoys sleeping on a large green pillow the size of an inner tube while I am gone at work all day. But my roommate is home earlier on the days I'm working long days to take him out and such. The house is two bed two bath with enough room for entertaining guests and a backyard big enough for a cooking out and letting Tres stretch his retired running legs. My roommate is also cool enough that when I leave town for my week trips to Nicaragua two to three times a year she loves taking care of Tres. The house is not far from work, friends, or a park that has lots of dirt trails through the woods that allow for tons of nature time.
yeah, dream big, that's what you gotta do right...that's what I'll do and I'm excited to see how much more God will bless me beyond my wildest dreams:) Until then we'll just keep changing.
Okay, enough about the closet.
...as I stood in the doorway to my closet with new orange tub on the floor being filled with long sleeve shirts, jackets, and other things that I will not need, but would like to keep for when I move into wherever I move into in a couple months I started thinking. Dangerous I know, especially after a long weekend of hours spent with only the company of a small furry creature that sure is cute, but not a great conversationalist. I was thinking again where I'd been, how the four months in this south state had flown by. How much I've changed in that time period. We are always changing, growing either for good or for bad, never for indifferent. If that happens we get spit out so better keep changing. I argue that there is no way you can't change; life circumstances, the passage of time dictates that it must happen in some way whether it is as simple as your hair and nails naturally grew during that time. How have I changed? What do I want? What path do I wish to explore?
Changes:
- got a bit of a tan
- learned a lot of neuro
- take more time for Sam moments
- able to run up to 10 miles without stopping
- better at speaking and understanding Spanish
- more aware of alone time for me and others
- even less attached to things or rights, though I still like them and sometimes yearn for it
- to continue developing my Spanish skills
- to have a job in Houston
- to live with someone who shares my organized and cleanliness side
- to have a dog, a low maintenance one
- to share life with someone and be comfortable being myself at the end of the day
- to get more involved with church events
- to find my nook to serve in the community here
- job treating the poor vs treating the rich (both need Jesus)
- job treating general population vs athletes vs kids vs adolescent athletes vs all neurological patients
- work for a large company or a small one
- make less money serving the underprivileged vs make more and use it to help the underprivileged and fund trips to serve
- live in the city or out a little ways
- house or apartment
- alone or with someone else
If I could dream and imagine the perfect scenario not thinking logically on a lot of levels this is what I would dream would happen the end of June, beginning of July....
I would take a job working at an outpatient PT clinic where a variety of patients are seen from kids to adults with all kinds of diagnoses. Along with that I would see athletes from adolescents to adults who need sport specific training and we have a pool available for aquatic therapy. My job is in a city of diversity and that would be reflected in the patient population thereby allowing my Spanish skills to continue being challenged. I would work 4, 10 hour days allowing a day during the week to enjoy the outdoors and time with friends. My dog Tres loves to go running with me most days and enjoys sleeping on a large green pillow the size of an inner tube while I am gone at work all day. But my roommate is home earlier on the days I'm working long days to take him out and such. The house is two bed two bath with enough room for entertaining guests and a backyard big enough for a cooking out and letting Tres stretch his retired running legs. My roommate is also cool enough that when I leave town for my week trips to Nicaragua two to three times a year she loves taking care of Tres. The house is not far from work, friends, or a park that has lots of dirt trails through the woods that allow for tons of nature time.
yeah, dream big, that's what you gotta do right...that's what I'll do and I'm excited to see how much more God will bless me beyond my wildest dreams:) Until then we'll just keep changing.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
coffee in the p.m.
never a good choice to drink a caffeinated beverage past dinner time...even if they say it's only 1/4 caff. well that's 1/4 longer it takes to feel tired enough to go to sleep.
I do enjoy a cup o jo every now and then, it has become a soothing, comfort thing more than anything else. Many good memories have been had over a cup of coffee, many good stories shared. I don't even mind the potential for addiction, the bad breath, the scary residue that might be building up inside (if the coffee pots are any indication of the power of that stuff) if it means getting a mug of hot beverage with a dear friend. Basically, if you want to grab a cup I'm all for it, just let me know;)
I do enjoy a cup o jo every now and then, it has become a soothing, comfort thing more than anything else. Many good memories have been had over a cup of coffee, many good stories shared. I don't even mind the potential for addiction, the bad breath, the scary residue that might be building up inside (if the coffee pots are any indication of the power of that stuff) if it means getting a mug of hot beverage with a dear friend. Basically, if you want to grab a cup I'm all for it, just let me know;)
Monday, March 22, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
cynacism gone
Okay, I'm over it, bad mood gone. God is great and provides for all our needs. yeah stuff erks me often, but I have to realize I can not control things...actually lots of things, literally nothing b/c THE Dios Todopodoroso is in control He has it all under control. He knows my days, my ways, my being. Ahhh...such a wonderful feeling to leave it up to him:)
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
the real world
Ha, the real world, that television show doesn't know what it's like out there...it's a dark place, too much to do, too little time to do it. All these people judging you on first glance or first voice, whatever happened to open mindedness, whatever happened to face to face interaction...why does the laundry need to be done at least once a week? All these things, too many to answer, too many to think about. Why God do I let all these things invade my mind...why do I let the bad parts get to me at points, I know my redeemer lives and I know that the important stuff is taken care of, the people that love me are out there, the people that know me know my faults and love me still and think I'm an okay person. so, why do we let strangers get us down? Good question...God what is your answer.
John 15:19- If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.
John 16:33-"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
Thank you Jesus
Not that I have experienced 1/10 the world's hate as most Christians, but those little things sometimes get to you when you are tired, unsure, the guard is down, the future is uncertain, the thoughts start to roam. Lord, take my thoughts, take them captive. May they be centered on you; uplifting and glorifying to you. May my focus be on you and not me, may I just rest in your arms and know it will all work out. I will end up where you will have me. I will be surrounded by people I love and who love me...maybe not in this world, but soon enough; for eternity we will enjoy worshiping you together,
"How Deep (how sweet) the Father's love for us"
o how deep the saviors love for us, how vast beyond all measure, that he should give his only son, to make a wretch his treasure
how great the pain of searing loss, the Father turns his face away, as wounds which mar the chosen one, bring many sons to glory
behold the man upon a cross, my sin upon his shoulders, ashamed i hear my mocking voice call out among the scoffers
it was my sin that held him there, until it was accomplished, his dying breath has brought me life, I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything, no gifts no power no wisdom, but I will boast in Jesus Christ, his death and resurrection
why should I gain from his reward I cannot give an answer, but this I know with all my heart, his wounds have paid my ransom
John 15:19- If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.
John 16:33-"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
Thank you Jesus
Not that I have experienced 1/10 the world's hate as most Christians, but those little things sometimes get to you when you are tired, unsure, the guard is down, the future is uncertain, the thoughts start to roam. Lord, take my thoughts, take them captive. May they be centered on you; uplifting and glorifying to you. May my focus be on you and not me, may I just rest in your arms and know it will all work out. I will end up where you will have me. I will be surrounded by people I love and who love me...maybe not in this world, but soon enough; for eternity we will enjoy worshiping you together,
"How Deep (how sweet) the Father's love for us"
o how deep the saviors love for us, how vast beyond all measure, that he should give his only son, to make a wretch his treasure
how great the pain of searing loss, the Father turns his face away, as wounds which mar the chosen one, bring many sons to glory
behold the man upon a cross, my sin upon his shoulders, ashamed i hear my mocking voice call out among the scoffers
it was my sin that held him there, until it was accomplished, his dying breath has brought me life, I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything, no gifts no power no wisdom, but I will boast in Jesus Christ, his death and resurrection
why should I gain from his reward I cannot give an answer, but this I know with all my heart, his wounds have paid my ransom
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
One of those days
It's just one of those days when ten thousand things are running through your mind; yet, nothing is going on in the brain all at the same time. I am physically tired as my legs carried me for 50, count them, 50 minutes through a park after work today. It was surely the longest I have run in months, a great accomplishment I felt at the time. I am refreshed though after a nice evening nap with Rowdy. He is still out as he had a big day at the doggie day care. Funny how small animals can have such similar characteristics as to caring for small children.
Well Flash is off again traveling at the speed of...well probably 300 some miles per hour. Hopefully by now she is well over an ocean and snoozing to the sound of jet engines only to awake for a warm face towel and breakfast. What do the coming days entail? Who will she meet? How will they fare with the local cuisine? When will they be privy to witness the Lord's hand at work? When will they not be privy to see the great God orchestrating all details of their lives? Rhetorical question in part. God I am soo excited to hear of your great deeds happening over in the far away places, to hear of any progress or differences since my time there, since the war solstice...
what else...
what else. considerations of this patient and that. fleeting ideas for treatments, pieces of notes just reviewed float in and out of conscious categorizing in my brain. the dull throb in my left thigh/buttocks, what was that spanish word for bunnies/guns (conejitos), yes. what is a good part of town, where would I like to live? where would I like to/ should I apply for a job? I need to get that copyright this weekend. I hope I wear my cowgirl hat soon. i'm excited to check out the mountain bike trails here...i could probably ride there and back...google it
Well Flash is off again traveling at the speed of...well probably 300 some miles per hour. Hopefully by now she is well over an ocean and snoozing to the sound of jet engines only to awake for a warm face towel and breakfast. What do the coming days entail? Who will she meet? How will they fare with the local cuisine? When will they be privy to witness the Lord's hand at work? When will they not be privy to see the great God orchestrating all details of their lives? Rhetorical question in part. God I am soo excited to hear of your great deeds happening over in the far away places, to hear of any progress or differences since my time there, since the war solstice...
what else...
what else. considerations of this patient and that. fleeting ideas for treatments, pieces of notes just reviewed float in and out of conscious categorizing in my brain. the dull throb in my left thigh/buttocks, what was that spanish word for bunnies/guns (conejitos), yes. what is a good part of town, where would I like to live? where would I like to/ should I apply for a job? I need to get that copyright this weekend. I hope I wear my cowgirl hat soon. i'm excited to check out the mountain bike trails here...i could probably ride there and back...google it
Friday, January 29, 2010
Can God Speak to You Through a TV Show?
Man,
it's been awhile...
January 29th...the final days of the first month of 2010...
Many things have happened, many more have wandered through my mind. My mind...yeah, it's been full lately. Yeah, I just watched an old episode of Gray's Anatomy...why I like that show? Maybe it's because they throw out some medical terminology and I get excited that I understand it...maybe it's because they draw you in like any good American trash tv...
...either way man this episode hit home, good thinking points...good God what do you think points.
One of the best talks I've had about God in a while happened last weekend with a random new group of Godly sisters of all ages. Years of worldliness thrown aside in some when they accepted Christ, ages of His love, grace, wisdom in some as they listen to His voice and follow...great topics of conversation...annointed words flowed from the heart. God, thank you for speaking through others, thank you for using even the most crude things sometimes to make us stop and consider your Truths. Thank you for the mind; what a powerful thing the mind is...
Random: The other day I had one of those 'never would've thunk' moments...I was standing doing wound care, applied a fresh pair of gloves...surgical gloves...speaking in Spanish...standing over an open wound...thought: Never would've thunk I would have acquired the skill of applying surgical gloves in this lifetime. Funny where I've come from, where all He's taken me. God, I am excited for the many more times down the road that are ordained and known by you alone. I am anticipating the crazy and cool things you will have me experience and learn. I am glad I am privy to your blessings and grace and to be filled to overflowing with your love; your love that is better than life that others see and feel and identify as you...thank you. Continue your great works Lord.
it's been awhile...
January 29th...the final days of the first month of 2010...
Many things have happened, many more have wandered through my mind. My mind...yeah, it's been full lately. Yeah, I just watched an old episode of Gray's Anatomy...why I like that show? Maybe it's because they throw out some medical terminology and I get excited that I understand it...maybe it's because they draw you in like any good American trash tv...
...either way man this episode hit home, good thinking points...good God what do you think points.
One of the best talks I've had about God in a while happened last weekend with a random new group of Godly sisters of all ages. Years of worldliness thrown aside in some when they accepted Christ, ages of His love, grace, wisdom in some as they listen to His voice and follow...great topics of conversation...annointed words flowed from the heart. God, thank you for speaking through others, thank you for using even the most crude things sometimes to make us stop and consider your Truths. Thank you for the mind; what a powerful thing the mind is...
Random: The other day I had one of those 'never would've thunk' moments...I was standing doing wound care, applied a fresh pair of gloves...surgical gloves...speaking in Spanish...standing over an open wound...thought: Never would've thunk I would have acquired the skill of applying surgical gloves in this lifetime. Funny where I've come from, where all He's taken me. God, I am excited for the many more times down the road that are ordained and known by you alone. I am anticipating the crazy and cool things you will have me experience and learn. I am glad I am privy to your blessings and grace and to be filled to overflowing with your love; your love that is better than life that others see and feel and identify as you...thank you. Continue your great works Lord.
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