Oooo...good sermon today titled Jesus Walks into the Uncertain. Doesn't matter what they call it; the premise is what counts. Looking at John 21. Set it up...after Jesus has been crucified. Disciples go back to fishing. That's what they know to do, right? They catch nothing...not looking good especially for Peter, who has not been working the past nine months because he's been following this Jesus fellow around the countryside.
Morning comes, a man on the beach asks how the fishing is...not good obviously, they didn't catch a thing. He tells them to try the other side of the boat. (Boats prob not that big that the fish could just hang out on one side and not the other) They give it a whirl...
take a step back in time...The night Jesus is betrayed. In the garden of gethsemane, mob comes, Peter cuts off guys ear, Jesus puts it back (would have loved to see that), they take Jesus to the courtyard of the high priest. Peter tags along, planning a covert op to rescue his friend (planning is a relative term here, not thinking things through too much as goes his character *refer back to the cut off ear.). Peter enters the courtyard by telling the 12ish y.o. slave girl at the gate that he doesn't know this Jesus guy. Then goes to warm himself by the coal fire (not a lot of light, easy to blend in). The girl comes over after studying Peter and knowing for sure he's one of the 12. Peter swears he's not, again denying Jesus. Peter retreats to the shadows, still in the courtyard, one can only guess he's still trying to figure out how he's gonna spring his friend who by now has started to get one of his many beatings of the night. Some guys come up and get in Peter's face; they know he is one of the disciples. Peter the third time swears he is not. In one moment, the cock crows twice and Jesus and Peter make eye contact (through a door, open air area, same courtyard remember not too big in those days). Peter knows, reality hits, the haze lifts. He knows in that instant that he did just what Jesus said he would do and swore wouldn't happen. That's his courtyard moment.
...back to the boat. The other side works, they call in another boat to help haul in the fish. Someone yells that it was Jesus on the shore, Peter dresses and jumps in the water (I would probably have thought to do the opposite...??) Peter gets up on shore to greet Jesus. The first time since he's denied him three times...oooo, what do you say now. Talk about awkward silence...After a nice fish breakfast, they take a walk. Jesus comes alongside Peter.
Jesus says: Peter, do you love me?
Peter: yes
Jesus: feed my lambs
J: Do you love me?
P: you know I do!
J: take care of my sheep
J: Do you love me?
P: you know all things, you know that I love you (I can't decide if an exclamation mark, or a teary trail of dots is appropriate here.)
J: Feed my sheep.
What do we do after those courtyard moments? You messed up, you know it, Jesus knows it. Jesus says feed my sheep. Take care of mine.
I mess up. I do what I know I didn't want to do at one point. I turn sheepishly to Jesus. He knows it. He saw it happen; He was in the courtyard with me. He tells me to get back on task and take care of His. Don't waste anymore opportunities mulling over the events leading up to the courtyard. It's over, it's done, I'm restored and Jesus says to move on. I like it. I don't feel like I deserve it, but I like it. I can't say it won't happen again, but I'm thankful for this feeling of healing, restoration, love.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Peking Duck
How cool would it be to go through life as a mime. Yeah, they kinda freak people out, but is that just b/c the others watching are not okay with the white painted face. I really think that's it; all we gotta do is get rid of the classic white face and gloves. I mean, think about it...at parties, such as last night...the best laughing comes from watching others try and act out a "thing" while friends are trying to guess it in a limited time. Granted, even if there is no time it can be hilarious watching people try. Even in cases when the word being acted out is totally not what they are doing. Take for example the pecking action seen in chickens...there may or may not have been an instance in which one nameless PT student started pecking the air with her arms winging at her sides and we all still knew she was going for peking duck. Both of which are not literally identified with the action of pecking or the full size duck animal. Come on you Chinese food fans out there, ya gotta know and be able to imagine the scenario. Classic.
Which leads me to my previous statement of what if we went through life "miming." If you think about it we already kinda do. We, as a society, are huge on non-verbals; we, as a race, communicate through non-verbals. Believe you me, this is proven fact as I go week after week to a church that speaks not my native language and yet I am able to connect with others through a smile, hug, kiss, and a very broken combination of english and spanish just so we can reassure one another that the Holy Spirit speaks all languages, even one that we cannot and that is to the individuals' heart. I come out of there feeling loved, feeling a part, feeling like I really do know my brothers and sisters in Christ even though if you would ask me about their everyday life, interests, families, I would be able to tell you a limited bit of information. Isn't that how it is anyway...we go through the everyday we see people on the street. We see people in the hallway. We know them, we exchange unspoken words of kindness or unkindness through our gaze, our acknowledgement, our undertones that tend to seep out of who we are. Isn't it that much sweeter when you feel the love from others in a smile or pat on the back that you weren't expecting. One that catches you off guard and is in itself a gift because in your mind you don't deserve it.
How many of these are missed, how many of these free gifts are given daily; yet, they are not recieved b/c the recipient is either too caught up in their own thoughts or are too involved in their own self pity. Let me tell you I bet it is more often than we think. We, like mimes, are experts at putting on the facade. The fake faces plastered on at times start to crack and what is underneath is almost too scary to admit so we patch it up, turn our gaze downward and walk on without seeing the beautiful light that might be emminating from another that could help us out and maybe even help remove a bit of crusty white that has built up on our face. Where do these people get that brilliant gift of light. What makes them able to sparkle as they walk around in this often depressing world? I think we both know deep down who it is that inflitrates their being and offers up His light as their own. Jesus is alive in people, of this I am sure and have seen the effects of. I believe b/c I have recieved the gift myself. I am not claiming to be a giver of this effervescent light all the time. Oh no, I know He is in me, shining, but I also know at times I have not let myself recieve enough of Him for me to be filled to overflowing. There are times I must rely on Him through others to get through. It is in those times, I am humbled the most to admit that I am a weak, tired, worn out, overwhelmed by the woes of this world, a very little girl. It is times like this week where I am so drained I do not make the effort to ask Him to help me; it is those times my soul cries out but I am too lazy to open my mouth to make the sounds...I think He understands; I think God hears my soul's cry as well as, if not more than, my mind and physical voice.
My Jesus never promised it would be easy. Our God never guaranteed he would keep us from pain of any kind. The Lord did say He is the Senor Todopoderoso (Lord Almighty). Jesus did say: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by His own authority. But you will recieve power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." - Acts 1:8
Ironically enough after Jesus said this he was sweeped up into Heaven and and hidden from our site. All I can say is good thing we are not like infants who do not have object permanence yet and if they can't see it, then it doesn't exist. (and some with dementia as well, funny how that whole life cycle young and old works) But good thing other wise it would be very hard to trust that He is there, He is here. His commands are still in effect even when He is not physically present. i am still called to be His light, His witness, His testimony here in my city, in the neighboring (and even lesser, or rivalrous areas), in different countries other than my own...to the ends of the earth. Yep, that's a pretty clear answer. Should I go? Yes, of course. Should I stay? If there is work to be done, absolutely. Shall I live here or there? The place doesn't matter...the city irrelevant. It's the people that count. It's who can I share this gift with today? Who can I let help me along my way, to get out of my own way at times? Who do I need to be in communion with at this point in time? The rest is just peking duck.
Which leads me to my previous statement of what if we went through life "miming." If you think about it we already kinda do. We, as a society, are huge on non-verbals; we, as a race, communicate through non-verbals. Believe you me, this is proven fact as I go week after week to a church that speaks not my native language and yet I am able to connect with others through a smile, hug, kiss, and a very broken combination of english and spanish just so we can reassure one another that the Holy Spirit speaks all languages, even one that we cannot and that is to the individuals' heart. I come out of there feeling loved, feeling a part, feeling like I really do know my brothers and sisters in Christ even though if you would ask me about their everyday life, interests, families, I would be able to tell you a limited bit of information. Isn't that how it is anyway...we go through the everyday we see people on the street. We see people in the hallway. We know them, we exchange unspoken words of kindness or unkindness through our gaze, our acknowledgement, our undertones that tend to seep out of who we are. Isn't it that much sweeter when you feel the love from others in a smile or pat on the back that you weren't expecting. One that catches you off guard and is in itself a gift because in your mind you don't deserve it.
How many of these are missed, how many of these free gifts are given daily; yet, they are not recieved b/c the recipient is either too caught up in their own thoughts or are too involved in their own self pity. Let me tell you I bet it is more often than we think. We, like mimes, are experts at putting on the facade. The fake faces plastered on at times start to crack and what is underneath is almost too scary to admit so we patch it up, turn our gaze downward and walk on without seeing the beautiful light that might be emminating from another that could help us out and maybe even help remove a bit of crusty white that has built up on our face. Where do these people get that brilliant gift of light. What makes them able to sparkle as they walk around in this often depressing world? I think we both know deep down who it is that inflitrates their being and offers up His light as their own. Jesus is alive in people, of this I am sure and have seen the effects of. I believe b/c I have recieved the gift myself. I am not claiming to be a giver of this effervescent light all the time. Oh no, I know He is in me, shining, but I also know at times I have not let myself recieve enough of Him for me to be filled to overflowing. There are times I must rely on Him through others to get through. It is in those times, I am humbled the most to admit that I am a weak, tired, worn out, overwhelmed by the woes of this world, a very little girl. It is times like this week where I am so drained I do not make the effort to ask Him to help me; it is those times my soul cries out but I am too lazy to open my mouth to make the sounds...I think He understands; I think God hears my soul's cry as well as, if not more than, my mind and physical voice.
My Jesus never promised it would be easy. Our God never guaranteed he would keep us from pain of any kind. The Lord did say He is the Senor Todopoderoso (Lord Almighty). Jesus did say: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by His own authority. But you will recieve power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." - Acts 1:8
Ironically enough after Jesus said this he was sweeped up into Heaven and and hidden from our site. All I can say is good thing we are not like infants who do not have object permanence yet and if they can't see it, then it doesn't exist. (and some with dementia as well, funny how that whole life cycle young and old works) But good thing other wise it would be very hard to trust that He is there, He is here. His commands are still in effect even when He is not physically present. i am still called to be His light, His witness, His testimony here in my city, in the neighboring (and even lesser, or rivalrous areas), in different countries other than my own...to the ends of the earth. Yep, that's a pretty clear answer. Should I go? Yes, of course. Should I stay? If there is work to be done, absolutely. Shall I live here or there? The place doesn't matter...the city irrelevant. It's the people that count. It's who can I share this gift with today? Who can I let help me along my way, to get out of my own way at times? Who do I need to be in communion with at this point in time? The rest is just peking duck.
Monday, March 16, 2009
There is life outside MH
The sun will shine another day
We might even make some hay
How bout a hike, what do you say
The sun is brilliant out there today
The birds do sing a pretty song
Don't have to wait to hear it long
and loud and proud and over the crowd
Yes, the sun does shine on the outside
The rattlers, African killer bees, rabies infested mountain lions, cacti, prickly things, sand, rocks don't try to hide
They display proud on the mountain side
Warmed by the sun that's shining outside
What? Are those birds I hear?
No, it's the morning call to pickle ball
They come from far and near
"Court Open" is the drawing call for those desiring to play pickle ball
Oh the signs you find are all different
Watch out for blowing dust areas
These midwest people better get with it
Cattle guards can be scary ones
but by the sixth time by gall they've got it
The sun did shine another day
Even back to the grind, I really don't mind
I sit here and say, "What the hey."
If only this feeling could last, but oh with a blast
I'm again surrounded by Type As
Please tell me the sun will shine another day...
Ah, the mix of emotions that come with such a drama as this. The very complex style of rhythm and rime (rhyme?) displayed by the author is intended to take the reader along one the emotional roller coaster experienced in the past week. If one interprets, as with Shakespearean poems, then one is able to see how there was great dispair that the sun would not come out. But come out it did and it appeared in a desert like state that lifted the writer's spirits with new and exciting adventures. Then one is assured of the reappearance of the sun day after day, until fatally the day comes when the pressures of life (a.k.a. the pursuance of a doctoral degree) again creep in. This is seen in the bleak request for reassurance that the sun will shine once again. What was an uplifting care free spirit is once again roped into the confines of life inside a building with chairs, glass windows covered with thick blinds, and the only chance for survival is the short recesses allotted for a quick game of 9-square if the weather is descent.
The reader is left identifying with the author and wanting to reach out with words of comfort to reassure that spring is coming, in fact it is only days away. The snow of life is melting and there is a small glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel. No one said it would be easy, in fact a famous quote from the first day goes like this: "These will be the toughest three years of your life." - KM (Thank you director, who I adore and realize this was said as a warning for those days when the sun is not rising, we are asking why did we want to do this, what were we thinking, well...we were warned.)
All that to say, the carefree spirit that was here this morning was soon squelched with the hustle and bustle of the day...the 10 hours of class will do that to ya...
Apologies Mama Bear, I promised a spirit lifter, can't deliver. Just refer back to the sun shine part, it is true. The truth is always right there: if we are able to see it is a whole other ball game...and a whole other blog:) Until then dear readers...
-Dori
escape (pronounced: "eesscapee, hey that's spelled just like the word 'escape'!"
"You can READ?"
"Yeah, I can read, I can read!"
"Here read this."
"Wallllaaabeeee Waaayyy....Siddddeneeeyy..."
We might even make some hay
How bout a hike, what do you say
The sun is brilliant out there today
The birds do sing a pretty song
Don't have to wait to hear it long
and loud and proud and over the crowd
Yes, the sun does shine on the outside
The rattlers, African killer bees, rabies infested mountain lions, cacti, prickly things, sand, rocks don't try to hide
They display proud on the mountain side
Warmed by the sun that's shining outside
What? Are those birds I hear?
No, it's the morning call to pickle ball
They come from far and near
"Court Open" is the drawing call for those desiring to play pickle ball
Oh the signs you find are all different
Watch out for blowing dust areas
These midwest people better get with it
Cattle guards can be scary ones
but by the sixth time by gall they've got it
The sun did shine another day
Even back to the grind, I really don't mind
I sit here and say, "What the hey."
If only this feeling could last, but oh with a blast
I'm again surrounded by Type As
Please tell me the sun will shine another day...
Ah, the mix of emotions that come with such a drama as this. The very complex style of rhythm and rime (rhyme?) displayed by the author is intended to take the reader along one the emotional roller coaster experienced in the past week. If one interprets, as with Shakespearean poems, then one is able to see how there was great dispair that the sun would not come out. But come out it did and it appeared in a desert like state that lifted the writer's spirits with new and exciting adventures. Then one is assured of the reappearance of the sun day after day, until fatally the day comes when the pressures of life (a.k.a. the pursuance of a doctoral degree) again creep in. This is seen in the bleak request for reassurance that the sun will shine once again. What was an uplifting care free spirit is once again roped into the confines of life inside a building with chairs, glass windows covered with thick blinds, and the only chance for survival is the short recesses allotted for a quick game of 9-square if the weather is descent.
The reader is left identifying with the author and wanting to reach out with words of comfort to reassure that spring is coming, in fact it is only days away. The snow of life is melting and there is a small glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel. No one said it would be easy, in fact a famous quote from the first day goes like this: "These will be the toughest three years of your life." - KM (Thank you director, who I adore and realize this was said as a warning for those days when the sun is not rising, we are asking why did we want to do this, what were we thinking, well...we were warned.)
All that to say, the carefree spirit that was here this morning was soon squelched with the hustle and bustle of the day...the 10 hours of class will do that to ya...
Apologies Mama Bear, I promised a spirit lifter, can't deliver. Just refer back to the sun shine part, it is true. The truth is always right there: if we are able to see it is a whole other ball game...and a whole other blog:) Until then dear readers...
-Dori
escape (pronounced: "eesscapee, hey that's spelled just like the word 'escape'!"
"You can READ?"
"Yeah, I can read, I can read!"
"Here read this."
"Wallllaaabeeee Waaayyy....Siddddeneeeyy..."
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Lista y Esperando...
Ready and Waiting...
So...read a book. The Barbarian Way. McManus.
Don't want to be domesticated. I want to hear my Father say, "Yes, you may jump off the roof...may want to try and avoid the pavement."
No guarantee for safety. No special rules that I will not be put in harms way.
John the Baptist.
Paul.
Stephen.
Countless others.
Missionaries in the jungle.
People that live in the ghetto.
I love it, the adventure, the unknown. Following, charging ahead at full steam (30mph) like a crash of rhinos who can only see 30 feet in front of their horn.
If only I could remember to be like those rhinos all the time. If only I could live with that intensity or the mindset of being ready and waiting to at any minute, go, speak, listen, stay, fight, etc.
So...read a book. The Barbarian Way. McManus.
Don't want to be domesticated. I want to hear my Father say, "Yes, you may jump off the roof...may want to try and avoid the pavement."
No guarantee for safety. No special rules that I will not be put in harms way.
John the Baptist.
Paul.
Stephen.
Countless others.
Missionaries in the jungle.
People that live in the ghetto.
I love it, the adventure, the unknown. Following, charging ahead at full steam (30mph) like a crash of rhinos who can only see 30 feet in front of their horn.
If only I could remember to be like those rhinos all the time. If only I could live with that intensity or the mindset of being ready and waiting to at any minute, go, speak, listen, stay, fight, etc.
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