Back inside

ahhh the joys of 8 hour days. Wait, no 9...nope pretty sure yesterday we clocked it at 10. Yep, oh the joys of ten hour days. Yesss (insert grab it up high and bring it down).

Ironies/oxymorons so to speak:

• very active people being forced to sit through 4 hour blocks of material twice in one day
• typical abnormal movements...huh, think on that one
• bright night, always a favorite of mine
• little sumo wrestler

and thus the month of September is here and starts off with a bang. Things come together, other things fall apart. Life goes on, so they say. Sometimes it seems like for a split second time actually could stand still. The time it takes to read a much anticipated email, wait for a phone call, or watch the clock crawl through an hour all are painful experiences. Not pain so much in the quantifiable way we refer to it in the present/best/worst (PT terms); no, no, this is pain that centers around the mid section, creeps into the crevaces of the mind. At times, it comes in the form of "if I have to wait one more second I just might freak out over here!"

And so I wait.

Sometimes a girls gotta get a break. Oh wait, i did get my break, it came in the form of housing. I do acknowledge that one, thank you Jesus.

Ever notice how easy it is to praise God when things go your way. Yeah, i was thinking about that the other day when I was frustrated with stuff. I will never forget the story of when a couple told part of what it was like to go through a miscarriage. They were at one of their parent's houses when they found out for sure what was happening. Instead of letting them retreat into themselves and grieve alone the parents urged them to stay in the living room and praise God together. Woah, talk about struggle. They related how it was the hardest, most tearfilled praise Jesus session ever, but wouldn't have had it any other way. I always thought, wow, that's cool, that's what it should be, Praise God in the hard times.

Now, I acknowledge that is on a completely different level and I have not experienced anything close to that magnitude, but the principle is still there. The feeling of not wanting to say anything and question what in the world God has planned was there. I mean, ya gotta be honest right? I still don't know what God has in store; I never will know the whole of it unless one day in heaven God says, hey you remember those days...see what was going on here, how that fit in there to influence this and that led to that which inhibited this that was going to lead you here, but I wanted you here so I showed you this and made you wait for that and aren't you glad i did? yeah, I think it will be something like that only maybe a bit more confusing:)

Until then, I wait.

I praise God for the unknown, for the hard times that will prepare me for other times, for the good things, the cancers, the laughter, the memories, the support, the people that are in the here and now. One day at a time. One prayer at a time.

One hour at a time...