thoughts

i'm an introvert today. i have a lot to think about. a lot to try not to think about and let God handle. where will He send me for clinicals round one...where will i choose to live and work...where will we live and who is the we starting in may...
i am blessed to live with an amazing woman of God who includes me in her life. she shares her stuff, her struggles, and her joys which lately have been many. she lets me dote on her, though she does not always know it; she lets me shout with her and talk with her and help her carry her burdens to the Lord in prayer. she is beautiful.
i was blessed to spend yesterday with an amazing woman of God. a friend who shares herself, though it's hard, though it's scary, though satan tries to come in and destroy and whisper lies. i learned more about her, about showing love and receiving it. i learned we love the same Savior and can wrestle before him with profound truths, with questions, and theologies we don't understand. i feel safe with her because we are safe with Him. she presses me to be better, to say what i want, what i feel, what i know; yet, i resort to the pen and quill to sort through these deep thoughts that I can not articulate out loud, they are reserved for the tap of the key and the stroke of pen. this woman she is patient with me and we will learn even more still. this woman, she is beautiful.
i was blessed to talk just now to an amazing woman of God. she speaks His truths and holds His hand while skipping in a field of wild flowers. she let's me come and run and play; she makes me speak and loves me just the same. she sees Him in me and i see Him in her...and we are so similar and so different. she is the best one at making me cry and i don't care. i would rather shed these tears of joy, love, understanding, struggle than laugh it off till tomorrow. i am honored that He allows us to be, that He allows me to see that she is beautiful.
i am blessed by God day in and day out as He speaks His words of love to me, as He affirms me through the words of another, a woman of God, a man of God, a scribe of God, a faithful servant of God. i am blessed for the persecutions yet to come (2Tim3:12) i am blessed for the hard times, for my response to praise Him in the hard times...for my desire to follow Him anywhere to go where He leads. God, it's hard. God, i can't do it on my own. God, i rely on your strength.