Running seems to be a recurring theme in my life...
Middle school cross country
and track
High school cross country
and track
College cross country
and track (less running, more flying)
5K's, Mini marathon, half marathon, half ironman, marathon...
You get the picture.
So what's the big deal with running. As you can see, the verse across the top references it, our exercise class at church was built on it "In Such a Way", which referenced the verse "run in such a way as to get the prize that will last".
Endurance is key. Mental stamina and control. Internal motivation which is derived from some factor that is different for everyone. I think my motivation is a combination of knowing what the end goal is, seeing the benefits to getting there in this manner, and a sense of this is what I should be doing. Granted running itself at this point in life is more a function of health maintenance whereas in college it was way more than that. As Coach Foss used to point out, in concert with Chariots of Fire, using my God given gifts to the max is pleasing to Him. I am worshiping God when I am using my talents and abilities and representing Him in the process through my sportsmanship, attitude, dedication, etc, etc.
So now, what is the point, why the running theme, why does Paul use it in his writings? It's an analogy for the Christian life. Living on earth yet yearning for the Kingdom to come takes a lot of endurance. It's not easy, the promise was not for it to be easy, but the reward will be great. Way better than nice legs that look good in shorts. Still, gotta get through this race, gotta push forward and persevere to the end. The obstacles seem like mountains at times. It is then when I am reminded that God is the one who can move mountains; I do not have to do it on my own. The voices of doubt creep in and that is when I reach out to my friend and ask for some help. Encouragement is necessary to get a good time. Teammates are critical to success.
"encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today" - Hebrews 3:13
"do not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching" - Hebrews 10:25
I know I got my dose today from some friends, listening to their lives, sharing in their ups and downs - that's encouraging to me. Sharing my struggles and asking for them to listen; I know I am not in it alone.
Who was I able to encourage today?
Who were you?
Thursday, December 8, 2016
Sunday, February 21, 2016
May I dance?
Love (III)
Guilty of dust and sin.
But quick-eyed Love, observing me grow slack
From my first entrance in,
Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning,
A guest, I answered, worthy to be here:
Love said, You shall be he.
I the unkind, ungrateful? Ah my dear,
I cannot look on thee.
Love took my hand, and smiling did reply,
Who made the eyes but I?
Truth Lord, but I have marred them: let my shame
Go where it doth deserve.
And know you not, says Love, who bore the blame?
My dear, then I will serve.
It's playing in my mind. He takes one step forward, I take one step back. He spins me out, but stops it halfway and I get cued to turn back in. If he's a good lead he doesn't pull, no jerk, just a simple tug of the hand with two fingers.
How often I resist, God offers me love and I shut him down. He takes that step, offers a hand and I out of pride, selfish ambition, or just plain ignorance ignore the offer. If only I responded to God as eagerly as I do any man brave enough to lead on the dance floor. Why wouldn't I with an offer like this 'Who made the eyes but I....you must sit down and taste my meat: so I did sit and eat." So parallel to the image of a feast prepared before me in the presence of my enemies; yet, so opposite to how Jesus came as one who serves, not as the one reclining at the table. Lord, help me comprehend 1 iota of how you lead and serve and love and ---!!! Help me accept your love; I want to sit down and eat.
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
What am I learning?
It was so simple. Go to school, get a degree, find a job.
Check.
Work, save lives, change the world, have some fun doing it.
Check.
Or not.
Maybe it was youthful ignorance, maybe we are a generation full of ourselves and think all of us can be world changers, maybe IWU's mandatory class was feeding us a crock of bull. Or maybe they were right, but it's surely not as sexy as it is presented. I can change my world of influence. I can work in hopes of influencing one or two people to make lifestyle changes that will save their life for a few extra years, and I can have some fun doing it.
I know that is true, but it seems so inefficient. I want the big boom Shaka laka change. I'm tired of the current system, the abused system, the same ol same ol. There's gotta be something more. Work is not my primary focus. There is no end goal, but to work another day in hopes of saving enough vacation time to get away from it for a while. That's not what calling should be, or better stated: that's not how I should approach my calling. I definitely need to work on my own attitude and feelings toward my job, career, vocation. Sure, I'll improve upon that, but still there's more.
The promise of more, the opportunity to do more, to be more, to influence in a different way. Never thought I'd say this, but even to influence as a stay at home mom has as I see it a greater good if you are putting out individuals into society who can contribute positive instead of negative effects. Talk about a hard job, raising children, living a marriage as an example of Christ and the church, working together toward a common mission, and doing the mundane laundry, cleaning, and feeding of people day in and day out. No one said it was sexy. No one said it was easy. Heck, I don't even know, I just surmise. I read a book.
On one hand I want this. I long for this as I long to be known and accepted for who I am from my Heavenly Father. Done, but it is the reminder I must give myself that it is truly done. Who would ask for that life, that responsibility? Most just fall into it by default. Most end up struggling to get by.
That's just it, we need good examples. We need people who are not settling for mediocrity in marriage and life. If only all of my co workers put as much time and energy into their families as they do into getting the next set of letters after their name, wow that would be world changing!
Well, that's my thoughts. Not much about my new found preference for muenster cheese, my insight into the best mountain bike trails in Houston, or that there really are no hills in Houston. Maybe next time.
Check.
Work, save lives, change the world, have some fun doing it.
Check.
Or not.
Maybe it was youthful ignorance, maybe we are a generation full of ourselves and think all of us can be world changers, maybe IWU's mandatory class was feeding us a crock of bull. Or maybe they were right, but it's surely not as sexy as it is presented. I can change my world of influence. I can work in hopes of influencing one or two people to make lifestyle changes that will save their life for a few extra years, and I can have some fun doing it.
I know that is true, but it seems so inefficient. I want the big boom Shaka laka change. I'm tired of the current system, the abused system, the same ol same ol. There's gotta be something more. Work is not my primary focus. There is no end goal, but to work another day in hopes of saving enough vacation time to get away from it for a while. That's not what calling should be, or better stated: that's not how I should approach my calling. I definitely need to work on my own attitude and feelings toward my job, career, vocation. Sure, I'll improve upon that, but still there's more.
The promise of more, the opportunity to do more, to be more, to influence in a different way. Never thought I'd say this, but even to influence as a stay at home mom has as I see it a greater good if you are putting out individuals into society who can contribute positive instead of negative effects. Talk about a hard job, raising children, living a marriage as an example of Christ and the church, working together toward a common mission, and doing the mundane laundry, cleaning, and feeding of people day in and day out. No one said it was sexy. No one said it was easy. Heck, I don't even know, I just surmise. I read a book.
On one hand I want this. I long for this as I long to be known and accepted for who I am from my Heavenly Father. Done, but it is the reminder I must give myself that it is truly done. Who would ask for that life, that responsibility? Most just fall into it by default. Most end up struggling to get by.
That's just it, we need good examples. We need people who are not settling for mediocrity in marriage and life. If only all of my co workers put as much time and energy into their families as they do into getting the next set of letters after their name, wow that would be world changing!
Well, that's my thoughts. Not much about my new found preference for muenster cheese, my insight into the best mountain bike trails in Houston, or that there really are no hills in Houston. Maybe next time.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
The Seed or the Scatterer
Today could be a rather rambling blog...hang in there and one part might just catch your fancy.
First, I'd like to vent a moment and chew out Adam and Eve. Eve, thanks for (sarcastic tone implied) giving in to temptation and thereby allowing the fluctuating hormones and moods that are ever present in women all over the world today, myself included. Adam, you gave in and followed along instead of taking the lead and holding strongly to your convictions, my dead grass, weedy yard, and passive or abusive men all over the world today are evidence of this tragedy.
I feel slightly better; yet, the lingering thought of my last snafu, if you will, continues to be in the back of my mind. I realize we live in an imperfect world, we are all imperfect people, and the perfect Son of God came, died, and rose again in order to cover for all my snafus. He forgives and forgets, again, beyond my comprehension as the forgetting is the hardest part, especially when we have to continue in this imperfect world fighting the temptations that creep in the shadows of our hearts and minds. I know I'm forgiven, but oh how hard it is for me to forgive myself, which is probably a tendency of my personality and temperament as well.
Last weekend after the healing class at church I was on fire, ready to pray for every friend, acquaintance and random person I met at the gas station; they warned us that often that is when the evil one likes to try and get under your skin. They were right, so I did some preemptive research on strategies to keep focused and growing closer to God. Upon recommendation I looked at the Daily Examen by Saint Ignacious of Loyola. (I'm sorry, but that name will never by on my list of "I want to name my kid after..." It has a flemmy quality to it.)
There are various interpretations, variations, and helpful summaries such as the above picture which give a brief overview of the 5 step reflective prayer time. His whole examen and spiritual exercises are quite intense. I was browsing through the spiritual exercises and came across a suggestion for the point of failure that you have identified as the weekly focus. One is to, of course, go through the examen morning and evening keeping track of that point of failure and each time it occurred throughout the day. Then once identified each time that it happens during the day you are to put your hand upon your breast (old school english here, modern day we would say chest or across your heart), a physical sign of inner repentance and acknowledgement of the wrong. Now, great idea, I considered doing that. I mean, either people would think you have heart burn, a strong sense of commitment to country, or some such sentiment. Then I thought about the past couple days and had a visual of the hand needing to be skin flapped up there because of the frequency of recurrence...a bit drastic I know, but some days it's like that...even in Australia. Needless to say, I am inspired by St. Ignacious (even though I won't be honoring him with a namesake) and am very thankful for his great repertoire of spiritual exercises which will surely challenge one to become more like Jesus in thought, action, and inner spiritual life.
Second, a quick thought from today's reading is do you want to be the good seed on good soil or could you be instead the one spreading the seed. Mark 4:1-20. That thought stolen from the daily reading in "The Word Among Us". I was thinking as I always have on that I just want to be the good seed on good soil producing a crop 100 or 1000 fold, but I like the challenge of perspective.
Lastly, I want to give a shout out to my catholic friends who have definitely challenged my religious and faith beliefs. As we say again and again, catholics sure have the theology, time tested truths and research figured out while the protestants are way better at the relational and community aspects of our faith. As long as we are all seeking Truth (capitol T, absolute, one way, one God, one Son, one Holy Spirit) and growing and challenging ourselves and each other, I figure the specifics will come into light. Which church do I attend? How many volunteer activities do I get involved in? Do I go overseas this year or not? Do I continue to study marriage, family, natural family planning, child rearing? What is the best communication pattern and model to follow?
Yep, that's why my God is bigger. He is always here; it is just a matter of if I step into His presence.
First, I'd like to vent a moment and chew out Adam and Eve. Eve, thanks for (sarcastic tone implied) giving in to temptation and thereby allowing the fluctuating hormones and moods that are ever present in women all over the world today, myself included. Adam, you gave in and followed along instead of taking the lead and holding strongly to your convictions, my dead grass, weedy yard, and passive or abusive men all over the world today are evidence of this tragedy.
I feel slightly better; yet, the lingering thought of my last snafu, if you will, continues to be in the back of my mind. I realize we live in an imperfect world, we are all imperfect people, and the perfect Son of God came, died, and rose again in order to cover for all my snafus. He forgives and forgets, again, beyond my comprehension as the forgetting is the hardest part, especially when we have to continue in this imperfect world fighting the temptations that creep in the shadows of our hearts and minds. I know I'm forgiven, but oh how hard it is for me to forgive myself, which is probably a tendency of my personality and temperament as well.
Last weekend after the healing class at church I was on fire, ready to pray for every friend, acquaintance and random person I met at the gas station; they warned us that often that is when the evil one likes to try and get under your skin. They were right, so I did some preemptive research on strategies to keep focused and growing closer to God. Upon recommendation I looked at the Daily Examen by Saint Ignacious of Loyola. (I'm sorry, but that name will never by on my list of "I want to name my kid after..." It has a flemmy quality to it.)
Second, a quick thought from today's reading is do you want to be the good seed on good soil or could you be instead the one spreading the seed. Mark 4:1-20. That thought stolen from the daily reading in "The Word Among Us". I was thinking as I always have on that I just want to be the good seed on good soil producing a crop 100 or 1000 fold, but I like the challenge of perspective.
Lastly, I want to give a shout out to my catholic friends who have definitely challenged my religious and faith beliefs. As we say again and again, catholics sure have the theology, time tested truths and research figured out while the protestants are way better at the relational and community aspects of our faith. As long as we are all seeking Truth (capitol T, absolute, one way, one God, one Son, one Holy Spirit) and growing and challenging ourselves and each other, I figure the specifics will come into light. Which church do I attend? How many volunteer activities do I get involved in? Do I go overseas this year or not? Do I continue to study marriage, family, natural family planning, child rearing? What is the best communication pattern and model to follow?
Yep, that's why my God is bigger. He is always here; it is just a matter of if I step into His presence.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
New Year, New You
Fitting title as the year 2015 recently came into being. Not long ago we welcomed in the new millennium with cheers, toasts of water and pop (high school in IN people, please), and some jokester in the breaker box flipping the switch to confirm our worst fears that the world did indeed end as the calendar turned to 2000. Crazy right, kinda makes 2025 not seem so far away, nor so impossible a number to attain. Similar, I feel, to the ever increasing age of "old"...was 40, then 50...now I dare say 80 sounds old. I'm sure I'll re-up when I hit 60.
So, what's this new year gonna bring? Endless possibilities await us at every corner. Will this be the year the Colts make the superbowl? Will my knight in shining armor arrive? Will the coyote win the chase after my dog? Will AT&T finally have a reasonable offer on internet that operates faster enough to load streaming tv? The woes of a 1st world society I suppose, minus the coyote chasing your dog thing...I feel that is at least 2nd world, 3rd if my dog was actually tough in any way.
I rarely have new years resolutions, if so, they are things I am doing anyway, just minor adjustments that need to be made to an already existing protocol. This year is the same. After much deliberation I feel my quietness of the soul times need some boosting. Maybe add a 5 minute reflection on the day and how I saw Jesus at work as I lay in bed listening to the traffic drone and occasional punchis punchis music booming next door. These things, the intangibles, the immeasurable are always the most challenging. I can tell you 100% or not if I completed a 30 min workout or trained for a triathlon (all of which are happening this year as well), but try to pin me down on if I truly quieted by spirit enough to hear the still small voice inside...well...uuuhhh...did you see the college football championships last night!?! What do you want to do this weekend? Who wants to come over and play? I mean, come on, really, really.?
All in all, yes. New year, new me. Quiet, reflective, but still a bundle of joy awaiting you on your doorstep anytime you ask me over. Talk about another phenom of our generation, no commitment...more on that later...
So, what's this new year gonna bring? Endless possibilities await us at every corner. Will this be the year the Colts make the superbowl? Will my knight in shining armor arrive? Will the coyote win the chase after my dog? Will AT&T finally have a reasonable offer on internet that operates faster enough to load streaming tv? The woes of a 1st world society I suppose, minus the coyote chasing your dog thing...I feel that is at least 2nd world, 3rd if my dog was actually tough in any way.
I rarely have new years resolutions, if so, they are things I am doing anyway, just minor adjustments that need to be made to an already existing protocol. This year is the same. After much deliberation I feel my quietness of the soul times need some boosting. Maybe add a 5 minute reflection on the day and how I saw Jesus at work as I lay in bed listening to the traffic drone and occasional punchis punchis music booming next door. These things, the intangibles, the immeasurable are always the most challenging. I can tell you 100% or not if I completed a 30 min workout or trained for a triathlon (all of which are happening this year as well), but try to pin me down on if I truly quieted by spirit enough to hear the still small voice inside...well...uuuhhh...did you see the college football championships last night!?! What do you want to do this weekend? Who wants to come over and play? I mean, come on, really, really.?
All in all, yes. New year, new me. Quiet, reflective, but still a bundle of joy awaiting you on your doorstep anytime you ask me over. Talk about another phenom of our generation, no commitment...more on that later...
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Selfish
Sitting in the airport people watching is always a past time to enjoy while traveling. A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to experience this an hour here, another there. People are very peculiar indeed! Some carry flashy bags, others a briefcase, and many more hustle around stressed with their airport experience. Many conversations can be heard if one just takes a moment to listen. This family is going on vacation. That couple are headed to see family. Those teens are discussing the latest gossip. All relatively normal, but one thing struck me. One phenomena was in my face twice. "I am selfish" I heard two separate and very different people state this phrase as a fact and follow it up with comments implying that they are okay with that and not looking to change any time soon.
Honestly, I've been there. The probability that I am less vocal and claiming of that feature is high, but nonetheless my selfishness has its times of unrelenting pride and far reaching effects.
Remember that time I took the larger bowl of ice cream, left my hair in the shower on purpose, raced to get the warm shower first, or negated another's feelings for my own pleasure. Yeah, I recall, regretfully of course.
I guess it's a good thing when I hear the self proclaimed selfish and have nothing but pity for them and hope they can find freedom from that in a deeper search for meaning in life. What about a relationship with Jesus? Have you experienced a love for you that makes you want to serve knee down in the dirt the very people who make you so frustrated? If not, I suggest you get to know the creator of the universe on a personal level and then re-examine your selfishness and see if its something you want to keep or not.
Clearly, I'm guilty as all get out, it comes and goes in waves I'd say. Overall, however, I would like to claim props for working on it and attempting to temper my selfish side to put others first...and like it!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Story of my life!
How many times do I get really over exaggerating? Often some of my friends would say. Rarely I tend to think as rarely do I tend to have a strong reaction or opinion. Therefore, when I do get animated it must throw people off. I was never the class clown. Heck, I was the nerdy tomboy who when not playing outside with the boys at recess was at home reading books. Maybe I was forced into book reading at too young of an age? A family expectation enforced upon me you might say. Whatever the cause the trend continued through high school and college. The book reading gradually dwindled as social events were always higher on the list. Do I read a book or go watch a movie with friends? Do I stay in or go hang out at Wal-mart? Is it more fun by myself or with a group of people who will dare me to take the saltine challenge (look it up)?
Clearly the latter on each account. This approach, neigh outlook on life, led me to develops some pretty good interpersonal skills I would say. Along with over active salivary glands, but we all lived;). Leadership. Isn't that just another way of saying you are that nerdy yet surprisingly good with people person who can get stuff done, yet keep people happy? I think that's part of it. Does one need to be given these opportunities to grow? Does one need others to see that potential or is a true leader out there to claim the title for themselves? In my personal life I can see where forced leadership on projects or in church youth group settings helped me learn I was capable. On the other hand applying for leadership positions as a college RA, or assuming the role of class entertainer in Grad school are self inflicted positions where you are not always liked, nor truly respected. Entertaining and performance is an art people! What made me do that? Mental boredom in part, a huge sense of team and family that I get within groups of peers. Why do I not have that freedom and creativity in the work place? Can true leadership, which I feel I possess, flourish under management that is a passionate and out for their own benefit. If I feel undervalued for my ideas and contributions will I want to co tribute to the 'team' or lack there-of? Is it possible in a world full of sinners and a room full of selfish people (myself included) to find that joy and passion at out and grow? Will I truly become the leader God has been teaching me to be if I stay, feeling stagnant? I want to say story of my life, but in reality it is a momentary blip in my life, in The Master's plans. I pray for wisdom, for direction, for freedom to express the joyous creative outgoing side that God gave me. May I feel free to be silent, free to be witty, free to crack jokes, and free to open up. Even when it's dangerous, even when it's scary. Set me free Lord Jesus. May that be the story of my life.
Clearly the latter on each account. This approach, neigh outlook on life, led me to develops some pretty good interpersonal skills I would say. Along with over active salivary glands, but we all lived;). Leadership. Isn't that just another way of saying you are that nerdy yet surprisingly good with people person who can get stuff done, yet keep people happy? I think that's part of it. Does one need to be given these opportunities to grow? Does one need others to see that potential or is a true leader out there to claim the title for themselves? In my personal life I can see where forced leadership on projects or in church youth group settings helped me learn I was capable. On the other hand applying for leadership positions as a college RA, or assuming the role of class entertainer in Grad school are self inflicted positions where you are not always liked, nor truly respected. Entertaining and performance is an art people! What made me do that? Mental boredom in part, a huge sense of team and family that I get within groups of peers. Why do I not have that freedom and creativity in the work place? Can true leadership, which I feel I possess, flourish under management that is a passionate and out for their own benefit. If I feel undervalued for my ideas and contributions will I want to co tribute to the 'team' or lack there-of? Is it possible in a world full of sinners and a room full of selfish people (myself included) to find that joy and passion at out and grow? Will I truly become the leader God has been teaching me to be if I stay, feeling stagnant? I want to say story of my life, but in reality it is a momentary blip in my life, in The Master's plans. I pray for wisdom, for direction, for freedom to express the joyous creative outgoing side that God gave me. May I feel free to be silent, free to be witty, free to crack jokes, and free to open up. Even when it's dangerous, even when it's scary. Set me free Lord Jesus. May that be the story of my life.
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